Eyes On Me
by Potsie18
Summary: Looks can mean a lot of things. It can also reflect what you feel inside.


Okay, a break again! I'm still thinking about the next chapter of Crazy little thing and things are still swimming in my head like kids having fun under the sun! xD

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Disclaimer: I NO OWN DC

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-One shot-

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Have you ever looked in my direction? I bet not. Because if you have, you would have noticed my feelings for you a long time ago. But like I said, you haven't. You only had your eyes on her and only her. I wished that you would spare me a glance once in a while so I could see if I had a chance. But whenever I see you look at me, I can see what you are thinking and what I see is her. I want to laugh at myself for being a coward. I could have told you about this when we're alone after the kids went to play, or the time that I handed you the antidote. I had a lot of chances but I let it slip.

How stupid of me.

Now I'm looking at you, back to your normal life, happily talking to your friends and a proud boyfriend to her. What can I say, I don't have the courage to tell you before, how could I possibly tell you now that I see you happy with her? As I turn around, I see the kids running towards me. They smiled happily as they bade goodbye to you and the others. Did you looked at me when I did? No. I saw you laughing with her while holding her hand tenderly. I smiled bitterly.

"Ai-chan, are you alright?"

"I'm fine" I said as I subtly wiped the tear that formed at the edge of my eyes.

I'm really stupid to think that you could love me back. Your heart only belongs to her even after that long time you parted with her.

Before we left the room I took a last glance at you. You may be the same person as Edogawa Conan but you differ greatly. It is Conan who I know and not the real you, same as you, you only know Haibara Ai and not Miyano Shiho. I can't say I don't miss Conan but there is no way I would see him again, and since the boy I knew is gone, I should be saying my goodbye to him even if he can't hear it. But he will be always remembered by me.

"Goodbye, Edogawa-kun" I whispered to the person I knew before leaving the room.

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Have you ever looked in my direction? I know you did. Observing is what I do. Whenever I see you looking at me, I can't help but notice your eyes. They look at me intently giving me a weird current running through my body. What is this? Yet sometimes I see you looking at me with those sad eyes, what are they for? I tried to make you feel that you're not alone hoping that it would erase the sadness in them. I asked for Ran's help, since I couldn't tell what you're thinking, and Ran being nice should make you feel like your sister is still alive and watching you. But no. They're still there, and I see not only sadness but fear and regret. What are they for? I could have asked you but I was scared.

What a big coward I was.

Now I'm back to my normal life, seeing you still stuck with your small body made me feel heavy inside. As you turned around, I had the urge to stop you, but Ran's hand held mine. And being the coward I was, I couldn't just leave her. But I couldn't just let you go. I need to choose. The kids approached you and bade goodbye to us, I caught a glipmse of your eyes. They are full of sadness... and longing, for what?

"Shinichi" I heard Ran call, "you're staring"

"I was?" they laughed at me, and I laughed along with them. I don't feel happy, I'm back to my normal life, back to the things I was longing to have again...

Why am I feeling... alone?

"Oi, Shinichi-kun, you're staring at Ran again" Sonoko pointed out.

"I... again?"

They started to laugh and tease me again, while Ran just blushed. I didn't. I don't feel embarrassed. I don't feel happy that I'm with them again. I feel nothing and I hated it. Is this the real Kudo Shinichi? Is he this numb? He may have all the things a guy could want but there is something that he lacked.

"Goodbye, Edogawa-kun" I heard a faint voice echo in my ears. I looked around.

'In my head?' I thought. Then it hit me. I may wish for Kudou Shinichi's revival but I don't want to forget Edogawa Conan. He is a part of me. Hearing someone say goodbye to him feels like something inside me is also dying. But who was it, the one who said goodbye to Conan, in this crowd who only notice Kudou Shinichi?

"Haibara" I whispered before letting go of Ran's hand.

"Shinichi!"

I stopped, everyone waiting for my next move.

"I'm sorry Ran" I know she could tell what I wanted to tell her, because this already happened before, "you could go ahead, I'll just catch up with you later" I dashed out of the room running after the person who made me, Kudou Shinichi, feel this way.

"Shinichi..."

"Don't worry about him, maybe there's another case" Sonoko assured her.

"It's not a case, Sonoko" she whispered, "not a case"

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Back to school! XP


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